How Can You Tell When It's Going To Be A Rotten Day

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a cop waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and they aren't any.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.
Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
Your car horn goes off accidentally in the no horn zone.
Your wife wakes unfeeling amorous and you have a headache.
Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
The bird singing outside your house is a buzzard.
You wake up and your braces are locked together.
You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-girlfriend.
Your income tax check bounces.
Your credit card was denied while you try to buy a cup of coffee.
You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
Your pet rocks snaps at you.
You woke up naked in your boss bed.
Your wife says, "Good morning, George," and your name is Joe.

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Quote to Live By

"Not all those who wander are lost."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

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