Body Beautiful: Is There Any Help For Irritating, Waspish Body Issues?

Saturday, December 10, 2016

What have wasps got to do with your body? 

Nothing - but bear with me. I promise I am going somewhere with this.

Wasps, you see, are aggravating. They can ruin a picnic, make you nervous and then they'll sting you. That will hurt like fire and have you throwing out expletives faster than you can blink. Wasps are, in essence, nature having a laugh at humanity. Unlike bees - which are useful - wasps have no primary use at all. They just are. Being ruinous, spiteful and generally spoiling the brightest of days. 

Wasps suck.

So, again, how do they relate to your body? Because there are body versions of wasps. The useless, aggravating problems we all have to deal with for no reason at all, that cosmetics don’t touch. They just are. There's no reason for them - not since caveman days have unibrows been considered attractive - but they're also not going away anytime soon. Just irritating pains we have to deal with thanks to being the third rock from the sun in the Goldilocks zone of our solar system. Thanks, universe. 

Except... what if you could get rid of them? The body-related issues, I mean - actual wasps probably aren't going anywhere anytime soon. But those irritating little body hang-ups and inconveniences: do you just have to put up with them? Or can you blast them away? 


Waxing and plucking are temporary fixes, meaning a few lapsed days of care and you're back to full-on brow extravaganza. If it's a bane of your life, then electrolysis can give you months without having to touch a single pair of tweezers. 


Oh-so-beloved of magazines pointing out flaws in a celebrity's body, cellulite is the curse of bikini season every year. But it is possible to remove cellulite through cellulite treatment if you focus in on the problem and seek professional help. Those body creams that claim to diminish it are placebos, so save your money for something that might actually help. 


Sweat ruins clothes, causes body odor and just makes you feel... icky. Sometimes, there's no other word for a problem than what the childhood version of yourself would have used to describe it. Sweat is icky. Whether you have full-blown hyperhidrosis - a medical condition that causes excessive sweating - or just can't live through another ruined shirt, then Botox injections could be your savior. Yes, the same stuff that 50-year-old socialites pump into their faces can halt your overactive sweat glands in their tracks. 

Cracked Cuticles 

Not only do cracked cuticles ruin a manicure faster than you can smudge newly-painted nails, but they can also be painful. 

Now, I shouldn't have to say this, but some people don't seem to be getting the message: don't cut your cuticles. Don't trim them. Leave them alone! Not only will they grow back with ferocious might, but you also leave yourself vulnerable to infection. So just don't do it, okay? Pinkie swear. 

So now you're stuck with them, the best method of dealing with cracked cuticles is endless moisture. You'll have more luck with an oil than a moisturizer, as oils can help trap moisture rather than letting it evaporate. Almond oil is especially beneficial, so apply almond oil every night, and the problem should begin to ease.

You Might Also Like


Quote to Live By

"Not all those who wander are lost."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

Carpe Diem

carpe diem